A lot of text

The last few months, I've been projecting routes. This is something I have never really done before, at least not to the extent that I have done now. The most I have spent on a route before is one day, two at the most. Since the outdoor season started in february, I have just been focusing on two routes. In other words, during the 16 days that I've had outdoors so far, I have spent maybe 11 of those on these two routes. I did one of them just two weeks ago and I am as close as you could possibly be to send the other one.
I have to say that I have found something new in projecting routes that I, to some point, also have found in bouldering. It's some sort of love and hate game.
You find an inspiring route that you just dream to be able to climb, you think it might be possible but it's going to be really hard and take a lot of time and work. In the beginning you feel no stress and you get happy for every new move you can do, you puzzle out new sequences and change old beta for new beta. After a few sessions you have done all the moves and maybe you've even done big parts of the route in one go.
Fourth or fifth session the anxiousness and frustration of being close and having spent some time on the route sets in a little bit. Maybe you've even done the route with just one hang? It starts to come down to redpoint (sending the route). You know you're strong enough and that you have the stamina for it, but still it's on your limit enough that a tiny foot slip, a bad hair day or smallest distraction can be enough for you to fail on your redpoint attempt. Every time you go home without the send it gets more and more frustrating, because you know it means another day of dragging your ass out to the same crag, hanging up the draws again and probably do the same warm ups just to MAYBE send the route. Then one day, often the least expected one, you send the route. The award and to some point relief is bigger than something you've probably ever achieved so far in your climbing carrier. In the end it didn't matter that you spent five days and twenty tries more than you expected. You did the route that you didn't even know if you could do from the beginning, the battle is over, you won, you conquered and no one can take that away from you. No matter grade it's a different satisfaction doing a route that you had to work hard for as opposed to a route you've been able to do in a few goes.
It's a bit like ski touring, instead of taking the lift you walk and really earn your turns!