The fall has consisted of rain, grey skies and during november Stockholm barley got three hallelujah hours of sunlight. That grey period between mid october and the end of december has been, as so many years before, sprinkled with a feeling of ambivalence. Ambivalence over the dark months to come, restricted to a bit outdoor climbing on ice but mainly indoor activities. To endure the winter period it's been crucial to have a structured plan leading to a goal, a dream in the end of the tunnel. If those factors exist then winter training becomes fun and even something to look forward to. However when the goals are set high that also means that theres not much margin for other things to come in the way. Feelings of depression, sun deprivation (if your from the northern countries), injuries and work is all a potent growing ground for doubt, doubt that can make for a lot of friction along the way towards reaching your goal. Some of these frictions we can learn to prevent, others aren't even within our power to predict so we can only try to train our minds and souls and hope that our armour will stand when the wall falls.
Another year has come to an end and summing up the year comes with it. The last five years I've had a steady progress in my over all climbing, I've climbed a little better in all disciplines every year. I'm closing in on the level of climbing that has been my big goal since a few years back, and I feel that I'm getting ready to tackle the bigger routes that is the dream of my goals.
A goal only becomes a failure if it's fulfilled as a failure, modify your goal to your current life state until it becomes reality. Your dreams can never be touched if they haven't been fulfilled, until then they remain your dreams.
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